The past three weeks have probably been the roughest and longest weeks of my life. After finding out that my health isn't exactly what you would consider good or even great, the doctors have the nerve to tell me that it is in my best interest to not put myself in stressful situations. Yes, after reading this it should make you laugh. I am a full time college student taking 20 hours and working between 20 and 30 hours a week. Hmmm.....How the heck am I not supposed to put myself in stressful situations?!?! Time to get real! This was also the same day that I found out that there is a possibility that I won't be able to have kids. This completely caught me off guard, but I had been suspecting it for quite sometime. These words shattered my heart. All everybody said was not to worry about it right now. How am I not supposed to worry about it?!?! If you have known me for more than about 30 minutes you would know that I absolutely adore kids and I can't wait for the opportunity to become a mommy. For some people, snakes, heights, and spiders are their worst fears, but for me it is never having the opportunity to have kids. Now I know that adoption is huge right now and if worse comes to worse I would jump at that. It just isn't the same as having your own babies. Now I remind myself each day that what is meant to be will happen and that God wouldn't hand me anything in life that He knows I couldn't handle.
If it weren't for my friends and my family, I'm not sure that I would have made it these past few weeks. The constant phone calls and words of hope made my days brighter. Sydney, Christmas, Heffernan, Hallie, Em, Jamie, Kendra, Laura, Katelyn, and Mar...You girls are my world! I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the person I am today without you girls becoming part of my life. Our friendships have all bloomed into something so beautiful. I know that if I was anybody else that I would be jealous! =) Mom, dad, Zach, Dustin, and Lindsey...I am so blessed to call each of you part of my family. Although I live 3 hours away and in a different state now, we are all still as close as ever. When I come home it is almost if I was never gone. A lot of families can't say that. I love each of you very much!
Now do you see why it is so hard to take life one day at a time?.....
